errantember: (Default)

It's pretty hard to believe how bad the retro porn classic Deep Throat is. The acting is atrocious. The music is easily the worst sound track of any kind ever. But that's not the most egregious part.

The most egregious part is Dolly Sharp as Helen. Or, more specifically, her make-up job.

Some drag queens dress to pass. Many dress to impress. And then there's a few who seem constantly to be competing to be the ugliest, harpy-est, wedding-cakey-est make-up monstrosity ever to walk the face of a catwalk. But they have failed. And they will always fail. Because Dolly Sharp has won, and she will never be dethroned.

Watching her, or, more accurately watching the hyper-garish knee-deep crust under which she writhes, is so painful that I can't really talk about it any more.

It's the ugliest thing, without exception, produced by human-kind.

Ever.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

errantember: (Default)
I've updated my online presence to include both a professional and "private" Facebook page, but something about the change makes me reluctant to really be completely honest on Facebook. Maybe just because it's Facebook. I've had many instances where I *wanted* to post something person, etc., but just didn't feel good about doing it there.

So I'm back here. For who knows how long.

The comment that I wanted to make, while perusing porn on Tumblr, is that while I'm interested in broadening my sexual horizons, experimenting with BDSM and role-play, etc., I really can't ever imagine me answering the question: "What's your biggest sexual fantasy?" with "I'm the Count of Monty Cristo, dressed in fabulous velvet, exchanging triple entendres with the Vicar's saucy wife" instead of "I want a pair of hot chicks to give me a rimjob and a blowjob
simultaneously."

Real sex with real people is a completely different story, because that's mainly about connecting with and exchanging pleasure with someone I care deeply about (most of the time. :) )

Context, costuming, and mental state simply aren't as important to my fantasy life as XXX-rated porn. :) It's possible that might not be true if there were ever hope of even remote parity between situational erotica and Random Internet Porn, but I don't think there's enough minutes in my lifetime for that to be even remotely possible. I *do* appreciate an ever-widening and increasingly artistic variety of porn, but it's still porn.
errantember: (Default)
One major realization I had at Alchemy this year was the degree to which certain parts of my sexual response have been programmed by outside forces. One reason I noticed it more is that as my interpersonal skills have developed, so has bi-directional sexual attraction between me and a lot more people. And because the expansion is much more about who people really are, as opposed to simply what they look like, the gulf between the pre-programmed part of my attraction and the developed, human part of my attraction got big enough to really cause some cognitive dissonance. I got to discuss this a bit with various people during the trip, which was very helpful in forcing me to process through it, something that's been lacking on most of the rest of my Extended Vacation due to time constraints.

More on this later.
errantember: (darth bobo)
Many of you are probably viewing this with Google Chrome. One of Chrome's neat and creepy features is that when you start to type an address, it not only auto-predicts based on past web pages visits, but with some other algorithm that makes it match your desired result faster than competing browsers like Firefox. However, I can't find the algorithm it uses. It's not the same one they use for their main search page. And the reason I'm concerned is that, the very first time you ever run Chrome (or immediately after clearing all your browsing date for privacy) and you type 'porn' at the beginning of the address bar (probably 60% of first usages!), one and only one link pops up. And it's this:

http://relit.org/porn_again_christian/introduction.php

So when the teenagers of the world are looking to get their rocks off somewhere away from the fucked up propaganda the world feeds us about sex and masturbation, they get Jesus Speak instead! As the first ranked link!

This is completely unacceptable exploitation of a vulnerable population, precisely what the site claims to be trying to prevent.

Someone in the sex industry, PLEASE do something about this. This is not the porn experience the Internet was created to bring the youth of our world!
errantember: (Default)
I mean, these guys are getting worked over by people whom they, as a sex, have been most conditioned to want, and yet they have virtually no facial expression or commentary beyond the occasional canned "take it baby." Obviously they're *in* to what's going on, or we'd know otherwise. Unlike the women, they can't fake it. And yet, they're *so* undemonstrative.

I don't get it.
errantember: (Default)
I've been watching re-runs of The Greatest American Hero, one of those Great-When-You're-Eleven-type shows that isn't quite the same 25 years later. The main theme is that a teacher for troubled youth is given a superhero suit by aliens so he can fix the world. Naturally, he immediately loses the manual. After six or seven episodes, I was already getting tired of watching him unable to get off his normal clothing (does the suit not work when he's still wearing it?) and flail screaming every time he flies. However, the straw that broke the camel's back was when a government bureaucrat, after having been merely *accused* of being responsible for a string of arsons, pursues our hero's FBI friend while wearing a fire proximity suit and wielding a flamethrower on a motorcycle in broad daylight.

I'm watching one specific episode, The Beast In Black, that I seem to remember fondly, and then it's toodles for this 1981 masterpiece. That part of my hard drive could be holding *porn* for God's sakes!
errantember: (Little Cowboy Scott)
I've now been twice to see Deep Sea 3D at the Texas IMAX Theater in downtown Austin. I've seen a few cheesey 3-D movies in the past, but this blows them all out of the...no it doesn't. It puts them all to shame. The feeling of actually being completely underwater (porn) surrounded by sea critters is absolutely uncanny. *AND* it doesn't cost any more than a normal movie. You *will*, within seconds of starting, be reaching out in front of your face and gesticulating in the air like an idiot in front of many other people. My only critique (not porn) is that it's too short at only about 45 minutes. Not only are the visuals (porn) the most amazing thing I've ever seen on a movie screen, but the narration is done by Kate Winslet and Johnny Depp (PORN!) and the music is by Danny Elfman (Circus porn.) This completely raises the bar for all future cinema experiences, and is a turning point for the entire industry. Like the Palm computing platform, this technology has emerged from obscurity to be on the verge of going mainstream.

Movies (porn) will never be the same again.

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