errantember: (Little Cowboy Scott)
My friend [livejournal.com profile] trippedbreakerneeded Late Night Cat Food, so I offered to let him borrow my electric scooter. He happens to convert vehicles to electric for a living, which will become ironic shortly. While talking to [livejournal.com profile] spottedvasa on the phone around midnight, I got a text from him informing me he was stuck at a gas station a few miles away with a dead scooter.

I replaced the scooter batteries a few months ago, luckily with ones purchased from Alien Scooter on South Lamar, meaning they have a warranty. His opinion was that the batteries were acting as though they were just about to die (as in die-die, not die-just-discharged.) They cost approximately $500. Recently, the scooter has been suddenly nearly dieing when only about 20% into its range, and I had forgotten how cold it was tonight. Lead-Acid batteries lose a huge percentage of their power in the cold.

So I swooped in to the rescue with the charger and an extension cord. We plugged it in and left it for about two hours. My original plan, which I'm very happy I vetoed, was to bicycle down to the scooter, lock up the bike, and ride the hopefully-charged-enough-to-get-home scooter back. Instead I decided I'd rather take the Metro down to it, park it, and take the bus or something tomorrow when it's warmer. At 3:05 AM, I just got home after a chilling low-speed-into-the-wind scoot home. The scooter is now charging in the carport, and I am going to *bed*.
errantember: (Default)
...so I went out clubbing tonight (baby seals shall fear me!), and not only did I introduce or re-introduce myself to several people I really like just because I wanted to, but I actually ended up getting the phone number of a married woman while her husband was sitting right next to us, neither of whom had never been to the club before. I'm amazed and grateful that recent changes in my life have made such things possible.

In about the past year I've finally gotten comfortable enough with my own identity and sexuality to be able to share it in public in a healthy way. The Flipside (though perhaps not the Fall from Grace) is the ability to enjoy other people's sexuality and energy in a way that's mutually beneficial and respectful of the other party's boundaries. The result is that I'm suddenly surrounded with happily sexy people, many of whom seem to like and to be attracted to me.

This is a fairly large change. :)

Thinking back, I think there were two big things that got me around the bend. One was the realization that my own sexuality was a positive thing with inherent value that other people could either choose to like or not to like, and that this was a characteristic that everybody had. The second was realizing that a lot of my anxiety about interacting with other people wasn't because I was afraid of their reaction, but because I was afraid of my *own* motivations and potential actions. One day I thought: "Am I actually going to *do* something that *I* don't approve of? When I always have a choice? "

Well..........

No.

It's funny how something so obvious can a) take so long to manifest itself and b) can induce such a profound change.
It's not until being on the other side of the fence that I can look back and realize how much my own shame about my sexuality (it's such a sex-negative culture) and my own anxieties about how the only person I have control over might act were blocking all this positive energy flow around me.

Yet another example of how all the things one really needs for fulfillment are inside.

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errantember

December 2015

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