I'm "Teambuilding" tomorrow and Friday.

Evidently this is some kind of corporate group-think indoctrination program, hereby dubbed by me a "Customer Inservice," that allows us to waste time "bonding" on the corporate nickel while customers understandingly stand by.

If I use the word "synergy" at any point in the next thirty days, please force-feed me a bottle of Jim Bean and dump me in front of a Mexican whorehouse.



You have your instructions.

Xylitol gum confirmed toxic to dogs.

I'm a big fan of Xylitol, which is a naturally-occurring sugar-like alcohol used to sweeten gum, mints, and can be used as a sugar-replacement in cooked foods (as long as they don't contain yeast). It's main feature is that the bacteria in your mouth think they can metabolize it, but can't. As a result, they die and don't produce plaque. This raises the PH of your mouth (less acidic) and can't not only stop tooth decay, but reverse it in some cases. I routinely chew a piece of gum after each meal, and it really seems to help keep my mouth healthier.

However, Xylitol, according to Snopes.com, is toxic to dogs. It spoofs their insulin production system, leading to insulin production when no sugar is available to metabolize it. Even a few pieces can kill a small dog, and I have two under 30 lbs. I've had at least one instance of finding a partially chewed package on the floor when I left it too close to the edge of the table!

I'm going to lock mine up somewhere, and increase my wariness about keeping it in my pocket, maybe by keeping it inside a metal tin.