errantember

I was floating my mind over my general feelings about monogamy, and I finally arrived at a short opinion that I feel is correct.


No one has ever achieved happiness *because* of monogamy.

No couple has ever achieved happiness *because* of monogamy.

Discuss.

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Right at this moment, perhaps because of all the butter, I'm really feeling it.

Gratitude and thanks to all those who have, do, and will contribute to my joy in life. I love you all.

So I've had:

1 4-year relationship break up over last Valentine's Day

1 lover I've only been dating for two months move to Seattle

1 person I've been interested in for a while but couldn't date due to relationship #1 above hit me up for a date to the Kerrville music festival this weekend (Wohoo!)

1 person I've become re-aquainted with after about a year of no contact who clearly likes me, but probably couldn't handle poly relating right now, *but* just moved out of her boyfriend's house into her own place for reasons yet unexplored.

1 person I finally got over my multi-year obsession with enough to tell her how I feel tell me she's not interested right now despite my 12-page, 2 poem letter spanning 4 cards. :)

At least I like her boyfriend.

1 person I've admired for years invite me to her birthday party that both conflicts with my Kerrville date and will also be attended by the person immediately above

1 reply to an e-mail I sent to my very first lover, a relationship of 4 years, which was broken up by her getting hooked up with a friend of mine of 7 years, who, 9 years of no contact whatsoever later are not only still together, but are likely soon moving to Austin. The e-mail and the information about the move came from completely independent sources, and their occurance within one day of one another after 9 years of no contact is 100% coincidence. Their 9 year relationship and accompanying lack of contact was my first truly polyamorous relationship experience.

I got bled early. :)

I also lost my fucking camera at Goddess Night. A day later no one has found it.

It's been a long day.

Welcome to Scott's Self-Pity Week! Having just gotten dumped by his girlfriend of four years, Scott will spend this week wallowing in depression, watching horrible relationship movies, listening to Tori Amos and generally feeling sorry for himself! Let's get to the bottom of this hole as soon as possible so we can start moving the other way.

It's going to rock!

Sunday is already off to a good start, with both weather and general circumstance conspiring to assist! It's been cold, pissy, and grey outside for several days now, a perfect setting for our last late-Valentine's Day-and-fourth-anniversary dinner, the last time I'm expecting to have contact with her for some time. In addition, not only do I have a fever from some kind of stomach virus, but almost every muscle in my body is sore from the First Road of Shao-lin Ground Monkey, a form taught by Grand Master Sin that involves a lot of hurling oneself onto the floor from a standing position for no apparent reason. In addition, I've been able to thoroughly re-enforce my black mood and hardened outlook on life by watching Sin City, which at this point seems like one of the best movies I've ever seen. All the vicarious violence and cynacism doesn't hurt much, either. At least, it doesn't hurt me. Many of the characters in the story would feel differently. At least, they would if they were still alive.

I've always been a sucker for love stories with awful endings.

Which brings up to plans for tomorrow! Although I expect a brief respite from misery and woe while watching the Sex Workers Art Show at the Texas Union down on campus (something, we'll note, that would NOT have been held on campus at A&M), I intend to jump right back into the thick of things with Leaving Las Vegas, one of my *other* most favorite love stories of all time! In addition I'll spend time badmouthing my ex to myself, refusing to take any responsibility for whatever I did to contribute to the "failure" of our relationship, and maybe writing something profoundly negative about love for submission to the Voluptuaries, a writing group I just joined.

Stay tuned for more crap later this week!

One of the few good things (besides my degree) that came out of my years at Texas A&M University is shown below receiving the bliss of re-discovery from moi. Now that I'm getting back into a situation where hand-held number crunching will be useful, there's no finer number cruncher to have in my hand than my old, ugly HP48-SX, N.E.R.M.A.L.

Note that we match perfectly.

It will be refreshing to use it for something other than sneaking circuit diagrams into a final. I even had the foresight to remove the batteries last time I used it! A good decision considering it cost $250 in the mid 90s when I bought it.