Excellent!

On the suggestion of hcoyote, I'm pursuing a solution involving using AIM to send messages to SMS, and Perl to bridge the gap between Jabber and AIM.

Haven't done any PERLing in quite a while. This should be interesting...

It's easy to get flippant...

...and say that nothing could be less readable than anything written in PERL.

At least, it is until the only discussion on the entire Internet of the error message you're seeing when you try to *run* the PERL module is in Cyrillic.

Time for bed.