The Most Disgusting Food Ever!

[errantember]

I brew kombucha. So far my efforts have produced very vinegary, not-as-good-as-the-stuff-from-the-store results. The thing that converts the extra-strong, sugary tea first into alcohol, and then into vinegar, is called a Symbiotic Colony of Yeast and Bacteria, and it generally looks like this:



It's every bit as disgusting in person as it looks in this picture, and, worse yet, it feels like *MEAT*! Like steak! It has the same slimy, firmish, meaty quality that real meat has.

Every time you brew a batch of kombucha, the SCOBY makes a new, pancake-like layer. After a few batches, half your brew tank is *full* of this *thing*! The first time I wanted to get rid of the excess, I took it outside and threw it on a tree, figuring it would make good fertilizer.

This time, however, I'm going to eat it!



I've found a limited amount of sketchy information on the Interweb that this will not necessarily kill you. The thing I'm trying first is dehydrating it, which is going on *right* *now*! The result is supposed to be sweet and jerky-like.

This is officially the craziest food-related thing I've ever done! Yay!

I will continue to do research while it's dehydrating to see how much of a risk I might be taking. I'm also only going to have a tiny nibble initially, then see what happens.

Comments

[goudananda.livejournal.com]

You're brave. I don't know much about kombucha though I will say that it's the tastiest homeade beverage I've personally ever had. It reminded me of a high quality cider wine. I'm told the content of malic acid is the apple flavor I picked up. If you keep it up I'd like to visit sometime and see if I can learn to make some of my own.

[worldmegan.livejournal.com]

Report back forthwith! If you don't die, I want to try it too. :D

[gailmom.livejournal.com]

no dying dammit!

I need you around...

[emmainfiniti.livejournal.com]

whyyy?

[errantember.livejournal.com]

That's a *really* good question.

1) I'm growing it anyway to make kombucha, and so I have to do *something* with it.
2) The degree to which it looks and feels like meat makes me want to treat it like meat. When I throw away a bit 20-ounce piece, it feels like I'm throwing a big steak in the trash.
3) It's crazy, and therefore fun!
4) Evidently I like to disgust people for entertainment.

[emmainfiniti.livejournal.com]

Strangely, I understand the tension between "it will not necessarily kill you" and not wanting to waste something that could be construed as food.

Aren't you growing chickens? If you can't eat the blob, maybe it could be fed to the fowl?

BTW - I am both disgusted and entertained.

[terriblelynne.livejournal.com]

That is fabulous and disgusting and I'm very impressed with you. Given that you survive, we'll HAVE to set a date for me to cook you a congratulatory dinner. :-)

[ajaytea.livejournal.com]

Good lord, that IS disgusting! Not sure if you're familiar with other forays into the the world of the differently edible, but you might check here for some pointers: http://www.thesneeze.com/steve-dont-eat-it/

P.S. This is A from Portland! hi!

[errantember.livejournal.com]

Hi! Steve Don't Eat That was hilarious! I hope I don't always have to do something this crazy to get your attention! :) In terms of sex appeal, you're tuning in at a very iffy time.

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

LOVElovelove Steve Don't Eat it, btw. It's hilarious. Sexy maybe not, but really effin' funny.

[bramblekite.livejournal.com]

*SHUDDER* good luck with that....

[knighthorse.livejournal.com]

It kinda looks like a burger shaped slab rendered bear fat with provalone cheese on it. Mmmmm.

[errantember.livejournal.com]

I can bring some for your next time there's a poly dinner if you'd like.

[knighthorse.livejournal.com]

No, Thank you. It scares me :) LOL!

[errantember.livejournal.com]

That's what makes it fun!

I'll bring a bit to the next dinner for everyone to be horrified by.

[knighthorse.livejournal.com]

Haha! It would be interesting to see reactions!