errantember

I found this groovy set of Abercrombie and Fitch khaki cargo pants, perfect for Rangering burn events, at the thrift store recently. The only problem was that they had a BUTTON FLY (NOOOoooooOOO!) Button flies are clearly for losers, and the fact that I have time to sleep in until 3 PM each day does *not* mean I have an extra 10 minutes to spend dealing with my penile hardware/software interface every time I take a leak. One of the many things my life entitles me to is a 1 minute bathroom turnaround time, including hand-washing. To correct this grievous affront to my privilege, I got out the old sewing kit, brutally ripped the crotch out of a perfectly good pair of size 5 green leather Gap pants, and stitched that twitching zipper right over the still-bleeding button stubs on the khakis.

I just did a drive-by of the local porcelain business district, and we are *in* the *money*!

*zip*