That Man!

[errantember]

I think it's fairly obvious to even the casual observer that my general MALENESS is so indescribably superlative that most other men near me have to exert a physical effort not to simply grovel at my feet. This, *aura*, if you will, has already been proven beyond even irrational doubt the day that, unlike the effete masses who took the *safe* route and chose to enjoy their processed wheat product without undue risk, I actually managed to injure myself, drawing *actual* *blood*, by eating a Fruit Loop.

In case the world, mostly distant from my total and effortless dominance, has had cause to forget me, I decided to up the ante today by violating the physical integrity of the inside of my mouth, once again spilling my precious lifeblood...

...while eating yogurt.


Kneel before Zod.

Comments

What kind of hippie shit is this?

[dj-warhammer.livejournal.com]

I stabbed my hand on a Leinenkugel box today. My beer stigmata feels your pain.

Re: What kind of hippie shit is this?

[errantember.livejournal.com]

Thank God *someone* can understand me.

Bah!

[oracle-tx.livejournal.com]

Man up, give yourself some stitches, and quit whining about it. I bleed while eating chips and salsa by chewing the chips with my gums, ignoring teeth altogether. Each chip is utterly slathered in salsa that if left in the bowl, would eat a hole through it and the table. Do you hear me complaining? No, I am loving every minute of it!

*beats chest*

(almost managing to keep a straight face...)

Re: Bah!

[worldmegan.livejournal.com]

Ya'll are crazy and bonkers and REALLY funny. I am keelt.

Re: Bah!

[errantember.livejournal.com]

One way or another, you're on the floor.

Unlike me, it's not from yogurt-induced blood loss.

Re: Bah!

[agua-miel.livejournal.com]

One way or another, you're on the floor.

That was devastatingly sexy

Re: Bah!

[errantember.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

Re: Bah!

[errantember.livejournal.com]

I managed to embed a fairly large chunk of tortilla chip inside my cheek for several minutes before I figured out why it was so hard to move with my tongue.

Food is dangerous.

[spottedvasa.livejournal.com]

Did you cut yourself on the foil? I did that once.

Yep!

[errantember.livejournal.com]

There was one tiny piece of foil left on the edge of the cup, and I didn't notice it.

Not the first time my tongue has gotten me in trouble.

Posted on multiple folks sites....

[gailmom.livejournal.com]

um, is it just cuz I have been awake for almost 24 hours that everything is starting to sound like a sex or kink reference? or is it just that many people I find interesting are such a mixed up bag of horny and smart that everything they write does that intentionally? and if the latter, why have I never noticed before??

Re: Posted on multiple folks sites....

[errantember.livejournal.com]

I try to restrain myself form getting simultaneously into sexual and blood-letting trouble.